Recently I came across a simple line puzzle game named Flow. Perhaps you've seen your children play it on their iPad, or played it yourself. If you haven't, the objective of the game is to match pairs of colored dots with each other within a grid, while ensuring none of the lines intersect. In the beginning, each puzzle seemed to confound me, as I would keep connecting the dots with lines that all got in the way of each other and rendered certain dots unmatchable, and the grid would end up as an unfinished jumbled up mess of lines. Soon, however, I started to discern a certain system that brought order to the chaos. Seemingly complex boards became quite straightforward, and I would be able to match the dots with surprising ease and speed. Interestingly, the more I played this simple puzzle game and figured out its methods, the more it appeared to me to be an analogy for the tasks and goals in our life, and how at first glance they seem to get in each others' way. But just like in the game, we do not need to be expert planners to be able to juggle all our ambitions and responsibilities; all it takes is a system of operations which even the most scatter-brained of us can apply to our lives.
To begin with, the easiest dots to match were the ones that lay on the periphery. No matter how close or far they were, their paths would never interfere with those of others, so long as I hugged the outer border. Not only would these be easy first steps, but their lines would set new borders, making the overall board smaller and easier to complete. Think of these outer defining lines as healthy habits, such as a good diet, consistent exercise, a reading habit, and other such routines that enrich our lives. It's easy to see such tasks as more difficult and disruptive to our lives than they actually are. We might be tempted to put off such activities for another time when we're "less busy", focusing too much on the inner dots that make up the core of our board. Maybe we have a lot of weight to lose, or maybe the book we're reading is a thick novel with hundreds of pages, but as the old saying goes, the journey is more important than the destination. Incorporating these healthy habits into our lives, no matter how far the other "dot" is, enriches us physically and mentally, putting a nice all-encompassing border around our lives. We enter a state of being that can then more readily tackle our other goals, seeing straightforward paths where once we saw daunting complexity.
By contrast, some pairs of dots were the complete opposite, being quite close together and tempting to solve first, but situated at the very heart of the board amongst the mess of other dots. In my first few levels, I'd often join these dots first without thinking twice. Inevitably I would end up confused when the rest of the board seemed impossible. These can be equated to our leisure activities, our more unproductive hobbies, and generally any way to get a shot of dopamine into our system. We join these close dots absent-mindedly wherever we see them, spending hours watching TV or scrolling away on social media, or whatever addictive habit so many of us find ourselves trapped in. Then we wonder why the paths of our other more defining dots seem so difficult, not realizing the knot we've created at the heart of our puzzle. What seems like a small escape or vice often ends up defining our lifestyle, and all that wasted time and energy adds up, solidifying into roadblocks for our other goals. In the game, I slowly learned to leave these dots for later, once more of the board was defined and a framework was already set. However, make no mistake; these dots are still part of the puzzle, and if matched correctly, still contribute to the overall solution. Those who get too absorbed in their work or too obsessed with their ambition will end up with boards that look orderly on the surface, but remain unsolved due to not leaving that little smidge of space for life's pleasures. That would be the other extreme. To relax and engage with frivolous luxuries is also an important aspect of life, so long as we remain mindful of when and how these particular dots are matched.
Finally, there were the dots dispersed at or near the center of the grid, those connected by lines that zig-zagged around each other to fill in the meat of the board. Each line competed for space and threatened to cut off the path of another, and I often needed to navigate each route with future moves in mind. These inner dots were the essense of each puzzle. Once matched, they turned a board of seemingly random dots into a mesmerizing canvas of interlocking colors. Such dots are what made each puzzle challenging, and thus fulfilling. I see these as analogous to the interplay between the aspirations and duties that define our lives and give them meaning. From career and education goals to important personal projects, from familial bonds to our friendships and social life, these major aspects of our lives (whatever they may be in our individual cases) must all be balanced against each other. But with an overarching healthy lifestyle and more conscious management of our spare time, as discussed before, these paths can become more straightforward, and have a more organized space within which to create links alongside one another. Oftentimes the "new border" would lock in a cleaner path for one of these dots, such as how a healthy sleep schedule can open up time in the morning for additional practice and study, or how a better diet can liven up our day-to-day mood and contribute to a happier home environment for those under our roof. Sometimes it was sufficient for the dots to be just close enough to the border that I could draw a line that left just as much space as I knew would be required by another nearby dot. We accomplish this in life through proper time management, the setting of boundaries, and identifying which aspects of life can potentially take up the same space, for example carving out just enough time in the weekend for your friends, while not forgetting the space needed for familial or romantic bonding. Another useful strategy was to identify squares in the grid that were situated in some awkward corner where it didn't make sense for any dot to go, indicating that a mistake was made and I should retrace my steps. A poor choice of friends may result in a social life that is draining rather than fruitful. A career in an unfitting field may halt our ambitions rather than fuel them.
We cannot all change our lives and retrace our decisions on a whim of course, and it need not be said that life is most certainly not as simple as a line puzzle game available on the Appstore, nor is it guaranteed to be "complete" by the end. In fact, almost the opposite is guaranteed, and as imperfect beings we will all depart the world with some loose end or another, some unfilled space, some unmatched dots. Sometimes it is not viable to change careers, or we never find the perfect partner, or we are born into a situation where lines easily matched for others would have to take long winding ways in our case. We must all play with the hands we are dealt, and live with the consequences of our actions and decisions. Regardless, these lines that have already been drawn, though not contributing to an optimal solution, can still shape the pathways of more interesting patterns that make our board unique and beautiful in a way that those of others are not. It is better to appreciate the makeup of our own unique puzzle board than to lament that someone else has managed to match a dot color that we have not. No one can live a perfect life, but just about everyone can live a colorful and vibrant one.
